Sometime last year, I wrote a song for my beloved nieces and nephew entitled "The Fish." I was so inspired that I managed to complete the lyrics in a couple of sitting. There was a strange feeling within that pushed me forward into expressing in written words how I felt. It was all about love, anxiety, uncertainty, insecurity and hope summed up to create a self-fulfilling masterpiece that had me reading thru each line time and again. It somehow made me feel proud of what this inspired heart can accomplish in writing... Let me take this opportunity to publish my lyrics with my commentaries.
THE FISH By Raoul I. ----------------------------- Commentary: The title represents the kids (my wife's 3 nieces and a nephew) who have become my family since 2005. In 2007, on a Father's day weekend in Baguio, my niece gave me a leather bracelet with an engraving of a fish as design. I wore it everyday and everywhere i went. I just felt like using a title that would represent my bond with these kids. 1 Lost in the night, You came ashore to my delight A passerby, just as i thought You see, life's fair, then life's not. Commentary: When my wife's sister and her husband went abroad for work, they left behind their 4 children. These angels stayed with us and became part of my life. I thought everything will be light and easy. But naturally, since I was new to the setup, I had reservations. I pretty much knew how this will end. But i didn't have any choice. 2 We changed the rules in the middle of the game I took over just the same. No history, no plans Along the wind I danced. Commentary: Everything changed eversince.. The family of 2 became bigger in an instant. Adjustments had to be made. Weng and I did not have any experience raising children.. And there were 4 of them... ages 3, 9, 10 and 14. I had to literally dance with the wind. Refrain: Someday you'll leave But I dont wanna believe Your heart is so faraway Everything's gonna be right someday... Everything's gonna be right someday... Commentary: I knew all along that they'd leave us. It was only a matter of time but I didn't want to believe... though we had our happy moments, i still felt their emptiness.. This part of the song just wants to soothe their heart with the assurance of things becoming right someday. 3 A boat without a paddle to steer don't know if you ever wanted me here No clues Like the summer rain. Only a smile that conceals the pain. Commentary: How would i love them? I didnt know them and they didnt know me... I couldnt express because i had no idea how... Do i leave them alone or constantly check on them? Did they ever want someone like me to stand father to them? I have not been a father. How would I know what's right and what's wrong for them? I could see them smile but I had no clue what's beneath. 4 Too long a time that we're together I thought i had started somewhere. But beyond the depth of this river. Im lost in translation forever. Commentary: It's been two years that they've been living with us at the time of my writing of the lyrics. I thought I already knew how to handle the whole situation. I thought I knew them long enough. I thought we're all doing fine. But still, there were tears at night. I was lost and full of guilt. Refrain: Someday you'll leave But I dont wanna believe Your heart is so faraway Everything's gonna be right someday... Everything's gonna be right someday... 5 Can I write you a song to sing? to ease the burden time can bring. would you rather talk to me each day? or close your eyes and turn away? Commentary: What could I do to make them happy for the meantime? I didn't even know if they needed my presence. Would it help if i talked to them? Would it matter if i showed i care? 6 I can never be the man he is Nor the shadow of the one you miss But I am here for your present Trying to fill the precious moments Commentary: As hard as i did to try to fill in... I knew i would only run short... because I could never be that great a man. I was there. I was with them on their simplest and most special days... but did they ever notice? I just hope i had done enough to make them a bit happy during those times they were with us. Refrain: Someday you'll leave But I dont wanna believe Your heart is so faraway Everything's gonna be right someday... Everything's gonna be right someday... 7 I dont know how but I want to give it all. Though someday I might take a fall. And to ask the truth I wont dare. for fear of finding out you don't care. Commentary: They say that when you love unconditionally, you give everything you've got. I did. Eventhough i knew that someday we'll have to part ways. I was so afraid to ask and learn the truth.. I knew my place.. just a temporary shelter.. nothing more... 8 The fish that was so free. Gently tied around me. But when all things become right. I must let go and give up the fight. Commentary: These children who have become my family as symbolized by the bracelet around my arm, will have to leave when things become right. Then I must let go. Refrain: Someday you'll leave But I dont wanna believe Your heart is so faraway Everything's gonna be right someday... Everything's gonna be right someday... April 2008. After almost 3 years, the fish was free.. things have become right. These wonderful kids left for the States to reunite with their parents. And the bracelet.. I havent worn it since. Locked it safe in a place where only memoirs of yesterday would stay. As this bitter-sweet chapter closes, I'm just so glad that God has opened the door for me and my wife to pickup the pieces from where we left off a few years back and follow the pursuit of building a family i could call my very own. God bless! Please scroll down for comments... :)
ninong.,. i miss u sooo much! lav u,! of course we had fun!, we're hapi kpag ksm po nmin kau, ansaya saya po kpag lbas taung lhat!,
aLm nyO po nUng nsa airpOrt tau? i cant heLp but cry!, tUwing nkikita kO po kau, naiiyak na po ako, and nUng knausap nyo po kmi, i reali cried so hard,, =(
ur oUr secOnd father,, and we realy realy realy luv u! soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mUch,!
mwa.mwa.mwa. =) mis u!,. mwa.mwa. sori po sa lhat!., =) 'teNk u po sa Lhat!. lav u!, =)
Very beautiful and heartwarming. Thank you so much Pa for loving my nieces and nephew generously and lovingly. You just don't know how much you have proven your love to me.. Just as you are dearly keeping the bracelet with a symbolic fish engraved on it, I am sure that these kids will never forget the selfless love and care you have given them, they will forever love you, and without a doubt, your name, your love, your happy memories with them will forever be engraved in their hearts and minds. I love you so much. May the Lord bless you, me and the fish..
hi ninong! sObrang ganDa po.. nakakaiyak,,. we riLi do love u ninong khit hndi nio nararamdaman.. i riLi do love you,, i care for you,, and youll always be a treasure.. ndi nio po alam kung gano ako kasaya nung lagi kau nanjan pra sakin.. I riLi felt your presence,, your love for us and the way u care for us.. thank you ninong coz u love us soo much,, I never thought it'll be this hard.. but I hope,, we dun sa 3 yirs na un,, sana po alang magbago.. sana youLL stiLL love us forever+0 as we love u..muah.muah. nDi nio po aLam,, Im so blessed=)
hello ninong! thank you po..reading this, left me in tears..
"I can never be the man he is Nor the shadow of the one you miss But I am here for your present Trying to fill the precious moments" --->ninong, yes you can never be the man he is..because youre another one...a different one..and you need not to be him.. ur my 2nd father..our 2nd father.. you may not be him, but youre as good as being our father...and you loved us just the same as our parents did/would... thank you so much.. youve always been there for us, in every step of the way..i wish it will just remain that way forever
"They say that when you love unconditionally, you give everything you've got. I did. Eventhough i knew that someday we'll have to part ways. I was so afraid to ask and learn the truth.. I knew my place.. just a temporary shelter.. nothing more... " ---->just a temporary shelter?, i know in my heart that isnt the truth...we love you ninong... your so much more than that, more than just our guardian... we wouldnt be who we are today if not because you raised us...and loved us
we were a family for 2 years..and we will be forever.. hehe, i love you ninong..thank you for loving us unconditionally...we really felt that..
please move on from the pain and not from loving us so much... love you po =)
"I dont know how but I want to give it all. Though someday I might take a fall. And to ask the truth I wont dare. for fear of finding out you don't care. Commentary: They say that when you love unconditionally, you give everything you've got. I did. Eventhough i knew that someday we'll have to part ways. I was so afraid to ask and learn the truth.. I knew my place.. just a temporary shelter.. nothing more... "
of cOurse ur not jut a temporary shelter.. u luved and care for us,, and so we do.. ur oUr secoNd father! and we realy do luv u sooooo mUch.! as well as we luv papa.. coz our 2nd dad, and we really care bout you. i thank GOD for giving us d chance 2 have u as our father for almost 3 yrs and of course we want u 2 stand as our father, thank u for luving us and we luv u so much in return!, lav u ninong,! miss u soooo mUch,! mwa.mwa.mwa. thank u for ur tOuching bLog! we really luv it!, =) =( misin' u!
Abs, Nadz, Cza, Thank you so much... questions have been answered... i so feel loved and blessed.. i'm so overwhelmed that I ran out of words. I'll send my thoughts after this ecstasy... i love you.. :)
Baby, Thanks for always being there with me... My life is yours. I love you so much! Happy Anniversary! :)
Kuya! what a blog!! naiyak ako grabe..! I know how it feels na biglang nagbago ang nakasanayan na...nawala ang dating andyan...but tama yung advice ni ate weng sa akin dati..cry it out and ask for the help of God to heal you...it will take time...but for sure it will be healed. I will always pray for you and ate that you will overcome the loneliness and pain. I love you both ni ate weng. Take care always. Dito lang kami..
Kuya! what a blog!! naiyak ako grabe..! I know how it feels na biglang nagbago ang nakasanayan na...nawala ang dating andyan...but tama yung advice ni ate weng sa akin dati..cry it out and ask for the help of God to heal you...it will take time...but for sure it will be healed. I will always pray for you and ate that you will overcome the loneliness and pain. I love you both ni ate weng. Take care always. Dito lang kami..
Thank you Jo. I love you too... Thanks for taking the time to read.. i know we can always count on you... Stay near.. God bless.. :)
wow.. sir Do ang sweet niyo aman po sa knila..hihi..kakaiyak naman po ung poem niu..hehe wua lang po.ngvisit lang po kc poh nabanggit po sa min ni mam weng ung poem nyu.. halah bka maiyak pa po aquh dito...hihi.. i know how it feels po kc sa part niu po ni mam weng...pero dont worry po. I know po that God will give you time to be with them again.. cge po sir Do,, Godbless po.. and be safe always..
wow.. sir Do ang sweet niyo aman po sa knila..hihi..kakaiyak naman po ung poem niu..hehe wua lang po.ngvisit lang po kc poh nabanggit po sa min ni mam weng ung poem nyu.. halah bka maiyak pa po aquh dito...hihi.. i know how it feels po kc sa part niu po ni mam weng...pero dont worry po. I know po that God will give you time to be with them again.. cge po sir Do,, Godbless po.. and be safe always..
♥kreeztal♥
hehe... salamat Kriztal! :) pinabasa pa pala nya sa inyo.. kakahiya.. idol talaga ako ng maam nyo eh.. haha.. Take care din at aral ng mabuti. :)
Kuya! what a blog!! naiyak ako grabe..! I know how it feels na biglang nagbago ang nakasanayan na...nawala ang dating andyan...but tama yung advice ni ate weng sa akin dati..cry it out and ask for the help of God to heal you...it will take time...but for sure it will be healed. 
